On-Again Off-again Audio, An Occasional Podcast

Episode 3, A Dangerous Shine

The story for this podcast was first published in Word Riot.  I've been trying to write about my six years bartending for a long time, and I think this is the most successful of the stories, though I was also able to include a bartending in my novel, which I think goes really well with her character.  Here's a excerpt of the story. 

When Shine told people she bartended at the Buckhorn, their eyes widened. "What's a nice girl like you," they said, and then their voices trailed off. "I heard somebody got shot," they said. There was a real bullet hole in the mirror, but it was ancient history—part of the bar's character, like the heads on the walls and the smell of stale beer. To Shine, it felt safe, like sitting on a gargantuan comfy couch with all your cousins—sunk into the softness, everyone good-naturedly elbowing everyone else.     

Not only that. As the bartender, Shine was the center of everything. She entertained the loners, introduced people, facilitated everyone's good time, and decided who stayed and who went. It was the next best thing to being on TV. Maybe someday she'd walk back through that door and everyone would whisper, "That's Shine. She used to work here."     

Someday. Shine flipped a beer glass upside down and stuck it onto the brushes in the sink full of hot soapy water. She worked it up and down, rinsed it, then put it on the metal drainboard. "Who's the most famous person who's come through that door?" she asked Doc, a forever regular who walked like a ship rolling on the high seas. Doc sat with his elbows resting on the edge of the bar, framing his draft of Bud.

Click on the player below to hear me read it. The file is large, so it takes a minute to load and the play button won't work till then. .



If you would like to download this mp3 file, right-click here and save the file to your computer. If the player isn't showing above, you can also double-click on the link in this paragraph for a player to pop up.


Episode 2, Revelations

Since the last podcast was upbeat and fun and we wouldn't want you to be too happy and carefree, this next podcast goes dark.  Very dark.  In fact, it might be one of the darkest stories I've written. It was first published by the great Rusty Barnes in Fried Chicken and Coffee.  An excerpt:

The bigger doe is long gone, but the smaller doe is in the borrow ditch bounding back and forth along the fenceline trying to get up the courage to jump.  Killer doesn’t wait for her to stop.  One report, then two more in quick succession.  The doe leaps like a rabbit and then falls down onto her front knees and collapses forward then onto her side, her head bent back over her shoulder. 

Dan pulls open the glove box and retrieves a big Buck knife.  He pushes open the door and gets out, glances both ways down the road, and then walks quickly over to the kicking doe.  I stay in the truck.  Killer doesn’t even glance Dan’s way.  He clears the cartridge and uses his thumb to keep the next round from entering the chamber.  He comes back to the cab.  He’s careful as he lifts the gun over my head and places it back in the rack.  He gets in and shuts the door.  Dan’s over at the animal.  He doesn’t bleed her out or anything.  He just slices through the hide on the back, peels it away, and then cuts along the backbone and ribs on each side to remove the backstrap, laying the first one on the grass while he cuts the second.  He flips the knife shut, picks up the meat, and comes to the truck.  He opens an empty gunny sack on the tailgate and wraps up the meat and tucks it up next to the cab.  He wipes his hands on his jeans and then comes up and gets in the truck.

Click on the player below to hear me read it. The file is large, so it takes a minute to load and the play button won't work till then. Swearing and adult content ~ you've been warned.



If you would like to download this mp3 file, right-click here and save the file to your computer. If the player isn't showing above, you can also double-click on the link in this paragraph for a player to pop up.

PS I must've been tired when I recorded this.  It starts with an "epigraph," not "epigram."  Sheesh.


Episode 1, Men Are Like Plants

For this first podcast, I thought I would read something fun.  This story was first published in the Slow Trains literary magazine, and you can check out my blog post about it.  Here's how it starts.

If a geranium were a man, it’d be a pimp.  I’m not kidding.  All those showy flowers, sorta like gold chains and purple polyester, don’t you think?  And those leaves, all romantic ruffle, like the artist formerly known as Prince would wear.

And they’re persistent.  Prolific. Hardy.  The whole New York police force couldn’t stop ‘em. Heck, a nuclear war couldn’t stop ‘em.  The bomb would hit, they’d wilt a little, and as soon as the sun stimulated them—Bam!—another bloom would poke its head up.

And the smell—like bad aftershave mixed with pepperoni.  Persistent and annoying.

Now, your philodendron, on the other hand, he’s a guy I could get to know.  A little bit of pizzazz—those broad split and elegantly arched leaves, so simple and grand.  Sort of like tuxedo tails.  Sturdy yet supple.  Doesn’t move too fast.  Doesn’t rush things.  Makes his way from the pot to the wall, growing out faithfully and steadily. 

Hmmm.  Maybe a little too steadily.

Click on the player below to hear me read it. The file is large, so it takes a minute to load and the play button won't work till then.



If you would like to download this mp3 file, right-click here and save the file to your computer. If the player isn't showing above, you can also double-click on the link in this paragraph for a player to pop up.